


Something Old, Something New

by Browneyesparker



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Big Bang 2013, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 18:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Browneyesparker/pseuds/Browneyesparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about a second chance at love with an old flame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“”Don’t you wish we could stay here like this forever?” He whispered as he gently traced circles on her bare arm, never taking his eyes off the brilliant blanket of silvery stars they were laying under, while Elvis crooned _Love Me Tender_ from his truck’s radio.

“Sometimes,” she answered. “But other times, I just can’t wait to escape and live my own life. You must feel the same way. You don’t want to play ten shows a weekend for the rest of your life, do you?”

“Maybe,” he replied. “Especially if I was going to come home to you when the curtain closed.”

She propped up on her side and looked at him, her hair falling in her face, a curtain of dark silk. “Using your talents on a room full of drunk, needy people seems like an awful waste of time. You could be anything that you wanted, a lawyer or a doctor—”

“But when I picture the rest of my life, I don’t see myself as a doctor or a lawyer. I can only see you, and a thousand tomorrows.”

“Me?” She asked, slightly startled by his admission. They hadn’t talked about their futures together in forever.

“You,” he answered, turning his attention away from the sky to look at her. “And a yellow house with a white picket fence that we’d live in from the first day that we got married until the day we died. I see a golden retriever and kids, and dozens of pool parties. I see Thanksgiving at your aunt and uncle’s house, and Christmas at ours. My future isn’t law school or a pre-med, my future is you. I love you so much that it hurts.”

She shook her head, too overwhelmed to say anything. He was so earnest. . . so hopeful, she didn’t know how to tell him that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that she didn’t want the same things. That when she pictured her future, kids definitely didn’t factor into it. And neither did life in a small town.

She had bigger aspirations.

A job in a state capital somewhere, her own office, and a nameplate with a title on it. She wanted tailored business suits and late-night coffee with no-strings attached relationships, and three or four young people who answered to her.

When she pictured her future, there wasn’t any room for a curly-haired, blonde husband, a dog, or kids. She couldn’t see white dresses or a gauzy veil, or dancing to their song while their friends and family watched them.

Ever since she had buried both her parents in the church cemetery, her small town life had become suffocating.

“Say something,” he pleaded with her as he brushed her hair away from her face.

She shook her head again and then leaned down to kiss him on his mouth. “I love you too,” was all she managed to whisper before resting her head on his chest and breaking down.

He didn’t say anything. He just held her while she cried.

**.**

They started at each other, their eyes unblinking in the harsh florescent lights of the airport. Summer was over and it was time for a new school year to start.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” He asked. “I could really make it worth your while.”

“If I don’t leave now, then I don’t think I’ll ever leave,” she answered as she pushed an unruly curl away from his face. “But I promise that I’ll come back for Thanksgiving.”

“After that it’ll be Christmas, and then we’ll make tentative plans for spring break. But that won’t work out because you’ll have a job that you just need to hold down and studies you’ll want to catch up on. I’ll say that it’s fine; maybe I’ll come up and spend a couple days with you. You’ll be a little preoccupied while I’m there, and all the while we’ll both be wondering if we’ll really be able to make a long distance relationship work. . .”

She shook her head. “Don’t do this. . . not right now—”

“Let’s face facts; we don’t want the same things. I don’t think we really ever did.”

She bit her lip. “So, we’re going to end things just like that? A few words in the airport and then we’ll forget that _we_ ever existed.”

“I love you,” he answered. “And maybe one day, you’ll come back to me. But right now, I have to let you go. Because it’s what you want. Besides, it’s silly for me to wait here and hope that you are definitely going to come back to me. We both know that isn’t the case, right?”

She nodded and sniffed slightly, trying to fight off a wave of tears. “We both know that I’ve been working to get out of this town since I was twelve-years-old.”

He kissed her tenderly, memorizing her scent and her taste for another day. “I’ll always love you,” he told her when he broke away after a moment.

She nodded and then kissed him in return. “Me too,” she whispered, wondering for just a moment if she was making the right choice in leaving him and everything he had dreamed for them.

The more logical part of her kicked in and told her that _of course_ she was doing the right thing. If she stayed, she would only wind up resenting him in the end. She didn’t want to become the bored housewife who read the tabloids in the grocery line and forgot all the reasons why she had loved the love of her life in the first place.

It was better to get out while she was ahead.

She kissed him one more time for old time’s sake, and then she picked up her old suitcase. After a second, her hand slid out of his grip and she put some distance between them. She graced him with a watery smile, her heart beat a million miles a minute and then she opened her mouth.

She had to force the words out. She had to say _something_ ; she knew that she’d regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t.

“I’ll never forget you Patrick Jane.”


	2. Chapter 1

“We Are _SO_ excited that you’re coming home for the wedding!” Teresa Lisbon’s future sister-in-law, Violet Matthews said as their conversation wound down. “It really means a lot to Tommy and Annie that you’re coming. It really means a lot to _me_ that you’re coming.”

Lisbon smiled. “I’m just happy that I can make it. I wouldn’t want to miss my brother’s wedding for the world for anything.”

“You need to tell Tommy that,” Violet replied. “He kept insisting that you wouldn’t come because Patrick Jane is back in town and you two had a falling out or something like that.”

Lisbon sighed. “We both wanted different things from life, so we ended things. Regardless of what Tommy’s been telling you, it was a mutual break up. Nothing more, nothing less. And the truth is that I didn’t even know he was back in Felton, the last I heard he was still in a Malibu mental institution trying to get over his wife’s murder.”

“Oh. . .” Violet trailed off. “I thought you knew he had come home. Aunt Ruth said that she was going to mention it to you the next time you talked.”

“Well, she didn’t.”

“Oh. . .” Violet said again. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. . .”

“It’s fine!” Lisbon rushed to assure her. “It isn’t your fault that you didn’t know Aunt Ruth hadn’t mentioned it to me.”

“I guess so. . . Ooops! Sorry to cut things short, but I just remembered that I promised Tommy I would pick Annie up from school. I’ll see you in a couple of days!”

“See you in a couple of days,” Lisbon echoed as Violet cut the call.

A few seconds, she pulled up her aunt Ruth’s number and pressed the send button. It rang twice and then her uncle’s cheerful voice was coming over the line.

“Ruth’s phone, how may I direct your call?”

Lisbon smiled. “Hey Uncle Ray, this is Reese! I was wondering if Aunt Ruth was around by any chance?”

“Hey Reese!” He answered. “Your aunt just went to get changed. She was modeling her mother-of-the-groom dress for me. Could you hold on a second?”

“Of course!”

“I’m sure looking forward to seeing you in a couple days,” Ray told her.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you too,” Lisbon said. “It’s been a while.”

“It’s been _too_ long!” Ray answered. “I wish you could get away from work so we could visit more often.”

“I know,” Lisbon replied. “I know, but crime never seems to sleep. I’m always busy.”

Ray humphed in displeasure but didn’t press the subject further. He just made small talk about how nice the weather was going to be for the wedding and how his old church suit was too tight before telling Lisbon that he loved her and passing her onto his wife.

“Hey Reese,” Ruth said. “I didn’t think I was going to hear from you so close to your visit. Is everything okay? Please tell me that you’re still going to be able to make it for the wedding—”

“Everything’s fine,” Lisbon answered. “And yes, I’m still going to be able to make it for the wedding. I’m just calling because I heard some interesting news from Violet.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“And what kind of news did she tell you?”

“She told me that P.J is back home in Felton,” Lisbon said.

“Oh. . .” Ruth trailed off. “I _was_ planning on telling you about that—”

“I’m sure you were,” Lisbon replied dryly, deciding not to drag the issue out. “So, how long has he been home?”

“Six months,” Ruth answered. “He just showed up out of the blue one day. He said that he needed a change of pace. Poor man hasn’t been the same since his wife and daughter was killed.”

“Didn’t they catch the man who did that?”

“Red John,” Ruth said flatly. “Yes, they caught him. Gave him a fair trial too. That _monster_ is going to spend the rest of his life in a maximum security prison. Which is way better than what he deserved to get if you ask me. All those poor girls. . . it’s tragic.”

“How is he?” Lisbon asked. “The last I heard—”

“He was in a mental hospital because he tried to kill himself?” Ruth finished. “Everybody knows that. It’s actually an old story that the tabloids recycled from years ago. He came home right after the verdict was served. You should stop in and see him while you’re here. He actually just asked about you, you know?”

Lisbon’s eyebrows raised in surprise as she tucked her phone under her ear and pulled an old sweatshirt down from her closet. “Really?” She asked, tossing the sweatshirt into her suitcase. “What did he say?”

“He wanted to know how you were and if you were coming up for Tommy’s wedding,” Ruth answered. “Maybe seeing you again will be good for him.”

“Auntie—”

“Don’t Auntie me, Reese. It’s a small town, there is a good chance that you two will run into each other while you’re here. I just think that it should be on purpose, you always could make him happy before.”

“That was before the beautiful Angela Ruskin wound up healing and winning his heart,” Lisbon replied. “He probably asked if I was coming so he could make plans to _leave_ town again. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to see me.”

“He said that he wanted to see you again,” Ruth answered, a hint of triumph in her voice. “What do you make of _that_?”

Lisbon laughed. “I have a lot of packing to do, that’s what I make of _that_. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Ruth said a little bit begrudgingly. “While you’re at it, just _think_ about seeing him again.”

“Okay,” Lisbon agreed, but only because she knew if she didn’t agree to do it then her aunt would never let her hang up. “But please don’t say anything to him about it. I don’t want to be put into any awkward positions when I get home.”

“Of course not,” Ruth replied.

“You have to _swear_ that you won’t say anything!” Lisbon said, not liking the tone of her aunt’s voice.

“Teresa Lisbon, you know that I don’t swear!” Ruth said sounding scandalized.

“Well, you better not say anything all the same. Or I’m not going to be happy.”

“Fine, I won’t say anything to him!”

“Thank you. Listen, I really have to go now. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ruth answered. “And I’m really happy that you’re coming. You haven’t been home in forever.”

“It has been forever,” Lisbon admitted quietly as she smiled almost sadly. “I’ll see you soon. ‘Bye.”

“Goodbye lovely,” Ruth replied.

Lisbon clicked off and tossed her phone on the bed as she continued to pack and think about her old love, and what it would be like to see him again after twenty years of complete silence on both ends.

And she realized that she _almost_ wanted to see him again.


	3. Chapter 2

It was like the whole town had been frozen in time. Everything was exactly like Lisbon remembered it to be when she left it behind 20 years earlier. A bittersweet pang hit her straight in the chest and for the first time since she had left Felton, a small part of her wished that she hadn’t been in such a hurry to leave her simpler, idyllic life behind. To grow up and have all the things she thought that she had deserved.

But the moment passed as quickly as it had come.

She had everything that she had ever desired.

An office with her name on it, a job with a leading agency in the heart of a state capital, the respect of leaders in the community, a team of associates that called _her_ boss, and a series of no-strings relationships with men whose careers were just as important as her own was.

Even when she was feeling especially lonely, she never regretted trading in her cutoffs and Patrick Jane’s sweatshirt for corporate wear. She never imagined what holidays would look like and who their children would favor in appearance.

Because she knew deep down that they wouldn’t be together anymore. She knew that she would have ended up resenting him from not allowing her to pursue her dreams. She was happy that they had ended things sooner rather than later. She was happy they had ended things before her fond memories of them as a couple was suffocated by bitter resentment and disdain.

If asked, she probably wouldn’t admit it aloud, but she was happy with the choices she had made. Looking back had never been an option. She just hoped that being home wouldn’t force her to relive things she had long buried. She didn’t really want to go back, not when she had so much in the present. Not when she had so much to look forward to going forward.

She nodded to herself as she drove past all the places she knew so well as a young girl. There wouldn’t be any more pangs of regret during her short visit home. She would make sure of it.

Ten minutes later, she was pulling up to her childhood home. If time had stood still in town, it had done so even more here. The bike she had ridden to school every day was still leaning up against the house, and the old wooden swing was still hanging by one rope. Even the flowers in the garden hadn’t changed, her aunt and uncle were still planting cream colored roses in honor of her parents.

Lisbon took a deep breath as she turned off her Mustang.

She could do this.

She took down criminals every single day.

Facing her past _had_ to be easier than putting her life on the line on a daily basis.

But as she stared up at it, she wasn’t so sure that it would be. She would take serial killers and rapists over her family and an ex-boyfriend any given day of the week.

There wasn’t any time to back out though. Her aunt, uncle, niece, and future sister-in-law were all pouring out of the house and rushing to come see her. She sighed and opened her car door, stepping outside to greet her enthusiastic family.

“You’re _finally_ home!” Ruth Lisbon said as she wrapped her arms around her waist and giving her a warm hug. “Oh, you don’t know how _good_ it is to have you home!”

“It’s good to see you too,” Lisbon managed, returning Ruth’s embrace.

She turned to the rest of her family and smiled. “Hey everybody! Long time no see.”

Annie frowned at her aunt. “And whose fault is _that_!? You’re the one who never come to see us.”

Ruth laughed. “Annie’s joking, of course. She knows that you have other obligations that keep you from coming home. Raymond, why don’t you get her things from the car and we’ll take her up to the house?”

“Of course dear,” Ray answered.

Lisbon handed her keys over to her uncle and then slung her arm around her niece’s waist. “Come on Annie, why don’t you and I play catch up while Aunt Ruth makes lunch?”

“That’s a good idea Reese,” Ruth said, taking Violet by the wrist and pulling her along. “You two just sit on the porch and have a nice visit. I’ll bring you two some iced coffee.”

“Aunt Ruth is nervous because you haven’t been home in twenty years,” Annie told Lisbon as soon as soon as the two women had disappeared from hearing range. “She’s afraid we’ll scare you off or something. I think it’s because she wants you to start and visit us here. Especially since Uncle Ray’s health isn’t so good anymore, and his doctor wants him to stay local.”

“I know,” Lisbon admitted. “She’s told me that on a few occasions.”

“I also heard her tell Violet that she really hopes you and Patrick Jane reunite because maybe it would give you an excuse to come and see us more often.”

Lisbon rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Of course she did.”

“I like him,” Annie continued, oblivious to her aunt’s annoyance. “He’s really nice, and he’s really handsome. I can’t understand why you ever broke up with him in the first place.”

“We both wanted different things,” Lisbon answered. “He wanted to get married and have a family. I wanted to what I’m doing now.”

“Did you love him?” Annie asked.

Lisbon hesitated and then she nodded. “I did. I just didn’t love him enough to marry him and stay here for the rest of my life. I never wanted to be a soccer mom.”

“Do you _still_ love him?” The younger girl pressed as they settled on the porch swing.

“Maybe a little bit,” Lisbon replied. “I mean, he was my first love. You never really stop loving your first love.”

“What about Walter? Do you love _him_?”

“Walter and I broke up a couple of weeks after Christmas,” Lisbon said.

Annie nodded approvingly. “Good. It would have _never_ worked out between you two anyways; he’s much too flashy for you. And you didn’t have a lot of chemistry either.”

“What do you know about chemistry?”

Annie made a face. “I _do_ watch television, you know. I know good chemistry when I see it.”

“I’m so glad to know that you got your vast amount of knowledge from reliable sources,” Lisbon teased.

“So, why didn’t you tell anybody that you and Walt broke up?” Annie asked.

Lisbon shook her head. “It was a mutual break up, a few words after dinner and a crappy movie. Besides, it wasn’t like you guys liked him that much anyways. Why would it matter if he just disappeared from my life without a lot of fanfare and tears?”

“I don’t think it matters if it was mutual or not,” Annie said. “Break ups suck either way, and it’s always nice to have somebody to vent with about how horrible guys are.”

“I didn’t have anything to vent about,” Lisbon told her. “And he wasn’t horrible either. He just wasn’t the one.”

“When can a man with multipleexe-wives ever be _the One_?”

Lisbon shook her head as she took a glass of her Uncle Ray’s strong iced coffee from Violet. “You are too precocious, Annabeth.”

Annie grinned as she took a large sip of coffee. “That’s what they tell me.”

“Besides, who says that I’m looking for the one?” Lisbon asked as Violet returned to the house.

“You’re almost forty,” Annie said reasonably. “Isn’t there a small part of you that wants a husband to go home to every day?

“Haven’t you learned that just because you’re a woman it doesn’t mean you have to get married and have babies?”

“Of course I have,” Annie said. “Violet said that I don’t ever have to get married if I don’t want to. But the thing is that I _like_ the idea of being with one person for the rest of your life. You’re always there for him and he’s always there for you. You have somebody to zip your zippers and rub your feet after a long day. I’m not judging you Auntie Reese, but I just cannot stand the idea of no strings attached relationships.”

Lisbon shrugged, unsure of how to reply to Annie’s comments. Once upon a time ago, she had been a huge advocate of no strings relationships. But the older she got, the more men who left her because she hadn’t asked them for any promises really made her rethink her stance on it.

If she was being completely honest she would say that there _was_ a part of her that really did want somebody to go home to at night. She wanted to play for keeps, but that part of her was right next to the parts that regretted giving up Patrick Jane and her old life for the one she was living currently.

It was easily squelched, easily ignored. She could brush the desire away easily because of everything she already had and wasn’t willing to give up.

“So,” she said, changing the subject as quickly as possible. “Are you excited that Violet’s going to become part of the family?”

**.**

“Teresa, darling would you mind terribly running into town and picking up dinner from Sam and Pete’s?” Ruth asked a few hours later. “Planning this wedding has completely tuckered me out.”

Lisbon shrugged and picked up her keys. “Sure, what should I pick up?”

“The usual,” Ruth replied. “Our orders haven’t changed in the last twenty years. We’re people of habit, you know.”

“Yes,” Lisbon answered, smiling fondly at Ruth. “That I do.”

“The only thing is your uncle can’t have chocolate milkshakes or French fries anymore. His cholesterol levels are through the roof these days. You better get him a baked potato and salad. And Annie’s on a vegetarian kick right now, but that’s okay because Pete keeps those new-fangled veggie burgers on hand for her. Oh! And Violet’s not eating fast food right now, she’s on a wedding diet to keep her skin clear, or whatever. But other than that, the orders haven’t changed the past twenty years.”

Lisbon shook her head. “I’ll be back soon.”

**.**

“Well, if it isn’t Teresa Lisbon!”

Lisbon could barely contain her shock when she saw Patrick Jane coming out from the kitchen with a large, brown paper bag in hand and wearing his signature smile.

She recovered quickly though, returning his smile. “Patrick Jane, still waiting tables I see.”

“Temporary owner,” he corrected. “I’m running things while Sam and Pete are away on a much needed vacation.”

“Oh. . .” Lisbon trailed off. “I’m assuming that my aunt knew about this, didn’t she?”

“Of course,” Jane answered. “In a small town like this, everybody knows everybody else’s business. Did you forget that, Reese?”

“Of course not,” Lisbon replied as she looked around and took the diner in. “It’s just that my aunt. . . oh, never mind. I’m not going to try and explain it to you.”

“I already know,” Jane said. “I told your aunt that I wanted to see you while you were here, I guess this is her way of granting my wish.”

“For your information _P.J_ , I _was_ going to call you and set a meeting up.”

“Well you know Ruth, she’s always trying to help things along,” Jane answered.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and changed the subject. “Sam and Pete’s hasn’t changed since the last time we were in here.”

“You know that things don’t ever really change here in Felton,” Jane replied wistfully. “It’s one of the reasons I came home. I needed familiarity after—”

She softened slightly, nodding. “I know, I know.”

“Here.” he held out the bag for her. “Your aunt called and placed your order. I threw in extra fries and an extra-large Coke, for you. You know, for old time’s sake.”

Lisbon took it from him. “Thank you. Anyways, I should get back. My family’s waiting for their dinner and I still haven’t seen Tommy yet.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll be seeing you?”

“In all the familiar places,” she answered, smiling at the corniness of their old goodbyes.

“For real, Reese. . . I want to see you again, for more than a couple of minutes,” Jane said quietly, so none of the other guest could hear him.

Lisbon nodded as she walked backwards. “We’ll work something out later P.J, I promise.”

He followed her to the door and opened it for her. “I guess that’s better than nothing. ‘Bye Reese.”

“Goodbye,” she answered breathlessly, the first signs of butterflies were stirring up somewhere in the depths of her stomach and they weren’t going away.

It was the first time she had feelings like that in twenty years, and the last person to give them to her was the man in front of her.

To say she was scared to death would be the understatement of the century.

 


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time in 20 years, Lisbon was awake all night staring at the ceiling and thinking about him. For the first time ever, she was thinking about everything she had given up for a job in the big city. She wondered if maybe she would have been able to save Jane’s heart if she had stayed, and how many kids they would have had. She wondered if she would have enjoyed being a soccer mom and if her dreams and aspirations would have died in the midst of child-rearing, ballet recitals and weekly date nights.

 For the first time in forever, she wasn’t so sure she would have resented Jane for tying her down to a life that she hadn’t ever wanted.

She turned on her stomach and buried her face in her pillow to muffle her frustrated groan. Leave it to Patrick Jane to rock the boat and complicate her feelings just like he had been doing since the day that they had met.

**.**

Somewhere across town, Jane was lying awake thinking about her and wondering if it was really possible to recover from heartache a second time and ultimately fall in love again for a third time. He wondered if he had really ever stopped loving Teresa Lisbon to begin with.

Everybody had always said that you never really get over your first love. Even Angela had told him before they gotten married that she understood he had loved Lisbon first and she wasn’t going to ever try and compete with that.

She hadn’t needed to compete though, by that time he had pushed Lisbon to the back of his mind, and he had loved Angela completely and unconditionally while they started to create the future he had always dreamed about when he was a teenager. He hadn’t counted on a deranged serial killer cutting their lives together short, he had expected to spend forever with Angela Ruskin.

He hadn’t counted on being alone ever again. He hadn’t counted on having to pick up the pieces of his old life and trying to put it back together again. He hadn’t counted on ever seeing Lisbon again. Not until her brother had gotten engaged and he heard that she was planning to come home for the wedding.

And now, he was a teenage boy again with a crush on the prettiest, smartest girl in class. But this time he was even more afraid to fall. He knew that she would be leaving again once the vows had been uttered and Tommy and Violet were on their honeymoon. He couldn’t allow his heart to hope that it would be any different this time around. She still wouldn’t stay, still wouldn’t trade in her suits for his sweatshirt or her SUV for a mini-van and little league games on a Saturday afternoon, or weekly date nights at Sam & Pete’s diner followed by movies and microwave popcorn in their living rom.

And he didn’t have the strength to face a broken heart all over again. But at the same time, he couldn’t imagine _just_ being her friend. He had always wanted something more when it had come to her, friendship had never been enough.

He knew the only thing he could do was try and make the best of their time together. He would try to pretend that he wasn’t on the edge of falling again, and then maybe it would be easier to let her go and find somebody new to move on with. Or maybe he would be able to resign himself to being single for the rest of his life.

With this last thought, he turned on his side and tried to catch some sleep.

**.**

“You look terrible,” Ruth said when Lisbon came down to the kitchen the next morning. “Didn’t you get any sleep last night, Reese?”

“No,” Lisbon answered, sitting down on the counter and watching as her aunt sliced bread for French toast.

“Did you have a lot on your mind?”

“I was thinking about what would have happened if I had stayed here and married Patrick instead of going off to school and becoming a federal agent,” Lisbon answered. “I never thought about it before now, a part of me thinks that I could have been happy as his wife. . . as the mother of his children. I never even gave it a chance because I was so wrapped up in what _I_ wanted from life. Look at you, look at mom. . . you were both content just to stay here and get married to the loves of your lives.”

Ruth put the knife she was holding down and went to get eggs and cream from the fridge. “But I never had any other aspirations except to be Ray Lisbon’s wife. I knew that’s what I wanted to do even before I got into high school. You on the other hand, you never played house or dreamed about your wedding. You always wanted to get out of this town, especially after your parents passed away.”

“I wanted to have P.J in my life too,” Lisbon answered. “Why didn’t I see that before? Why didn’t I just ask him to come with me? There was room enough for both of us where I was going.”

“You don’t think about those things when you’re young,” Ruth answered, cracking the eggs into a bowl. “Sometimes you need to experience things to find out what you really want.”

“I still want to work for the CBI though,” Lisbon said. “I love my job, I love my position. . . I just want more now that I’m older. I am so tired of no-strings relationships and saying goodbye before I get into deep. I wish. . . I wish—”

“I know,” Ruth replied. “I believe in second chances though. Who knows what will happen this week. I only have good feelings about your homecoming.”

Lisbon smiled. “I’m sure that you do.”

“Would you get the cinnamon and the vanilla extract from the cabinet behind you?” Ruth asked, ignoring her comment.

Lisbon nodded. “Sure.”

“You need to talk to him,” Ruth said as she finished scrambling up the eggs and started to dip the bread in it. “Tell him what you’re thinking; I’m sure that he’ll hear you.”

“Not right now,” Lisbon answered. “It’s too soon. I need to make sure what I’m feeling is real and not a manifestation of being home for the first time in 20 years. I can’t lead him on, give him false hope. Not when I’m going back to Sacramento in less than a week. If I still feel this way by Tommy’s wedding, I’ll talk to him then. For now, I’m just going to see where this goes.”

 


	5. Chapter 3

“We need to get you fitted for your bridesmaid’s dress,” Violet said the next day as she burst into Lisbon’s room and threw the curtains open, letting the early morning light stream through the windows.

Lisbon groaned as she rolled on her back, she had spent most of the night tossing and turning. Trying _not_ to think about Jane, trying to fight off the old attraction that was threatening to burst on the scene again. Because of that, she hadn’t gotten to sleep until the wee small hours of the morning.

“Don’t worry, I have coffee!” Violet told her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Coffee would be great,” Lisbon answered as she sat up and took the mug of steaming liquid from her future sister-in-law’s hands.

“You don’t look so hot,” Violet said, taking in Lisbon’s pale face. “Rough night?”

“You have no idea.”

Violet looked at her apologetically. “I wish we could put off the dress fitting, but we’re pressed for time with the wedding being so close and you haven’t been able to make any of the other fittings.”

“It’s okay, really!” Lisbon assured her as she stumbled out of bed and to her suitcase. “I’ll just jump in the shower first and then we can get going.”

Violet looked at her sheepishly. “You don’t really have time to shower, Annie needs to come with us and she has an all-day class at the community college in an hour.”

Lisbon sighed. “I guess I’ll just shower when we get back then.”

“Okay!” Violet said cheerfully as she jumped up from the bed. “I’ll just leave you to get dressed!”

In a matter of seconds, Lisbon had gotten dressed and quickly braided her hair. Before she knew what was happening, Violet had whisked her and Annie into Ray’s pickup truck and they were headed to the dress shop in the heart of town.

**.**

“I remember when I was fitting you for your prom dress,” Evelyn Pritchett said to Lisbon through a mouthful of common pins. “You and that Patrick Jane made such a lovely couple; everybody around her was so disappointed when you two were the ones that didn’t make it.”

“Yeah,” Lisbon replied, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m sure it was a hot topic of gossip for months after we broke up.”

Evelyn laughed. “Why my dear, whatever do you mean?”

Lisbon was saved from answering her by Violet calling out from Annie’s dressing room to ask if the seamstress was ready for them.

“Hold on a second dearie, I’m still hemming up Teresa’s dress! She’s shorter than I remembered!” Evelyn hollered. A few moments later, she was standing up and looking at her with a critical eye. Then she smiled and nodded. “Lovely, just like always. I’ll be darned if he isn’t able to take his eyes off of you at the wedding.”

Lisbon frowned. “Who?”

Evelyn laughed again and helped Lisbon down from the stool she was standing on. “Careful that you don’t trip over the hem, lovey. I would hate for you to have to walk down the aisle with crutches.”

Lisbon hiked up the skirt and gave Evelyn her best cop look. “ _Who’s_ not going to be able to take his eyes off of me, Mrs. Pritchett?”

“Patrick! Everybody around town knows that he’s been looking forward to seeing you again,” Evelyn replied.

Lisbon blushed inspite of herself. “Oh Mrs. Pritchett, I’m sure that it isn’t like _that_ at all—”

“And why shouldn’t it be?”

“It’s been twenty years,” Lisbon answered. “I’m sure whatever he felt for me isn’t there anymore—”

“Mrs. Pritchett, Annie really needs to get going!” Violet called. “She has a class in less than an hour!”

“Bring her out then!” Evelyn called back; she smiled at Lisbon and lowered her voice. “Maybe you’re right, but don’t write it off. Anything can happen, you know. He loved you once, who’s to say that he won’t love you again?”

Lisbon wanted to protest some more, but Annie was coming out of her dressing room, a vision in linen the color of pink lemonade.

“She looks so pretty, doesn’t she?” Violet asked, her eyes shining brightly.

“Yes,” Lisbon agreed, lifting her own dress a little bit higher. “She looks beautiful.”

“It’s not too much?” Annie asked anxiously, meeting her aunt’s gaze. “I mean, I don’t look too girly?”

“You can never look _too_ girly!” Evelyn proclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“Thanks Mrs. Pritchett,” Annie said, smiling at Lisbon and Violet.

“Teresa, darling why don’t you go and get changed?” Evelyn suggested. “I just need to make a couple more nips and tucks on Annabeth’s dress and then you girls are free to go and do whatever it is that you need to do today.”

“Thank you Mrs. Pritchett,” Violet said as Lisbon disappeared behind a navy blue curtain that doubled as a dressing room. “You’ve been amazing.”

“It’s my pleasure darling,” Evelyn answered.

Lisbon slipped out of her dress and hung it up carefully before putting her street clothes on. 

“The dress is on the hook in the dressing room,” she told Evelyn as she came back into the storefront. She turned to Violet. “I’m going to get some more coffee and walk around town for a little bit. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” Violet nodded. “Enjoy yourself.”

Lisbon nodded too and then quickly made her escape from the dress shop. She stood and looked around the streets, trying to get her bearings before she decided to just go to Sam and Pete’s to get her coffee.

Yes, she knew that she would have to see Patrick Jane again if she went there, but it didn’t really matter. Now that she was home again she felt drawn to her old haunt and to her old love again and she couldn’t pin-point why. All she really knew was that it was driving her crazy!

She wasn’t this kind of girl. The girl who couldn’t figure things out, she _always_ knew. She was always so sure of herself and of her feelings. She’d been in her old stomping grounds for less than 24 hours and she was a teenaged girl in braces again. Back in the day, she had gone to Sam and Pete’s to order root beer floats and stare at Jane from across the counter while she hoped that maybe, just maybe he would notice her as more than a customer and his smart-aleck lab partner in chemistry.

_Snap out of it Agent_ , she told herself as she crossed the street. _This is not healthy! You’re only here for a few days, don’t go and start something you can’t finish._

But as she opened the diner door and saw him standing at the counter with his sleeves pushed up to his elbows while he chatted with an early middle-school aged girl, who was drinking a vanilla milkshake and eating French fries, her resolve started to disappear like air slowly leaving a balloon.

He smiled at her when he saw her standing in the threshold and her heart gave a familiar thud. She swallowed hard.

“Hey P.J,” she said as she came up to the counter and casually leaned against it. “Could I get a coffee to go?”

“Of course,” he answered. “Would you excuse me while I get my friend some coffee, Lainie?”

“Okay Mr. Jane,” she replied smiling at him brightly.

When Jane had turned his back to them, Lainie turned and studied Lisbon with a quizzical brow. “Are you Annie’s auntie?” she finally asked.

“I am,” Lisbon answered. “And who are you?”

“Lainie Banks,” Lainie said, picking up her drink and sipping it with her straw. “Annie babysits me sometimes.”

Lisbon took a stool. “Oh. I think she’s told me about you.”

Lainie looked pleased. “Annie had a class today though, so mom asked Mr. Jane if I could keep him company while she ran some errands,” she continued. “I like coming here, Mr. Jane can do magic tricks and sometimes he helps me with my homework. But school’s out for the summer now, so I don’t really have any homework. I am doing the summer reading program at the library. Whoever reads the most books gets a month’s worth of free movie theater tickets.”

“How many books have you read so far?” Lisbon asked.

Lainie shook her head and sighed. “Not enough. I guess Julie’s going to win _again_ this year.”

“I see you ladies are getting acquainted,” Jane said as he brought Lisbon’s coffee to her. “What do you think?”

“I like her,” Lainie answered.

“I do too,” Jane replied before turning to Lisbon. “Here’s your coffee Reese, can I do anything else for you today?”

Lisbon took a sip of her coffee and shook her head as she reached for her wallet. “No, I just wanted the coffee. How much do I owe you?”

“Just a little conversation,” Jane said. “I mean, if it isn’t too expensive.”

_It isn’t like he’s proposing marriage or propositioning me,_ she tried and rationalized with herself. _A little conversation_ never _hurt anybody. But then again, every time Patrick said he wanted to talk when we were dating we ended up kissing for hours. . ._

“Okay,” she said aloud, banishing the last thought from her mind. “I guess I could manage a conversation with you.”

Jane’s face brightened immediately. “Fantastic! Maybe you could come around later tonight? We can talk while I close up the diner for the day.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Lisbon replied, smiling at Lainie. “It was lovely meeting you, Lainie.”

“You too Miss Lisbon,” Lainie answered, beaming at her.

**.**

Hours later, Lisbon was standing outside the diner again. She hesitated a moment and then, she went in.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Jane said when he saw her standing in the doorway, he put the broom he was holding down and came over to lead her further into the restaurant. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? A root beer float?”

“I’m good,” Lisbon answered. “I ate a big dinner before coming, I’m probably not going to be able to fit into my bridesmaid’s dress the way my aunt is feeding me these days.”

“That’s probably not true,” Jane told her. “You’re still as skinny as the first day I laid eyes on you 24 years ago.”

“I guess you can’t afford to gain weight in my profession,” Lisbon answered as she sat down on the stool.

“Oh, I don’t know. . . I’ve seen a lot of overweight detectives,” Jane replied, taking the seat beside her.

“But you didn’t ask me here to talk about my weight or fat detectives, did you?”

“I just wanted to catch up and see if you got everything you wanted that day in the airport. I wanted to see if you were happy. It’s been hard to read you the last two times that we’ve been together.”

“I do have everything that I wanted,” Lisbon said. “And I am happy, happier than most women my age or at least.”

“The married ones with kids, or the ones who don’t have time for relationships and families?”

Lisbon winced slightly at the unintended barb. “Both,” she told him.

“Good,” Jane said. “I’m glad.”

“What about you?” She asked softly. “Are _you_ happy?”

Jane picked at a piece of worn linoleum on the counter and shrugged. “Seeing you again makes me happy again. I never thought I would get to see you again.”

“Oh.”

He jumped up and said, “Wait here!”

Lisbon watched him go over to the jukebox in a corner and press a button.

“That old thing _still_ works?” She asked in amazement.

“And it’s playing our song,” Jane replied as he came back to her. “Remember?”

“Of course,” Lisbon answered, getting a far off look in her eyes. “The first time we danced to it was in the bed of your truck at the beach. You always did have a thing for everything out of date.”

“What can I say? You can’t mess with the classics,” Jane said. “So, what do you say? Do you want to dance?”

Lisbon shook her head. “With you? No.”

“Come on! We used to dance all the time!”

“You and I could _never_ just dance, and you know that. Besides, I came here to talk, not to be swept off my feet.”

“Maybe I asked you here under false pretenses,” Jane answered as he pulled her off the stool and started to whirl her around the diner. “Maybe I was planning on sweeping you off your feet the whole time.”

“Patrick Jane, you haven’t changed either the past twenty years. You’re still as deceitful and scheming as ever,” Lisbon said as he dipped her down.

“Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do,” Jane replied. “Besides, you know me better than anyone else and still here you are.”

“When you asked me here earlier, were you really planning on just having a conversation or were you looking for something more?”

“I was really only planning on talking,” Jane answered.

“Really? But you’re usually in better control of situations,” Lisbon said softly. “This isn’t like you, doing things by the seat of your pants.”

“Really? Then I must have been a really good pretender when we were together,” Jane whispered. “You have a way of throwing me off kilter.”

“Impossible,” Lisbon whispered back. “You were the epitome of cool back in high school. And even now, all the guys want to be you and all the girls want to date you.”

“People shouldn’t believe everything they read in the tabloids,” Jane told her. “I don’t really have anything that anybody wants. Just look at me, Reese. I’m a broken-shell of a man, any leftover bravo is probably just a front.”

Lisbon was stunned that he was sharing something _so_ personal with her. She had thought that after 20 years, their deep history wouldn’t matter and he would be a little tight-lipped about the things that had happened to him.

“Don’t look so surprised,” he said. “Like you said, some things never change. And one of the things that haven’t changed is how much I _still_ trust you.”

Lisbon’s heart fluttered slightly in her chest at his statement.

After all these years, he _still_ trusted her. For some reason this made her happy.

And that’s when she knew, she knew that she was in danger of falling in love with him again. 


	6. Chapter 5

After breakfast Lisbon decided to take a bike ride to clear her head and to make sense of feelings that had returned after 20 years of being dormant. She needed to make sure that it wasn’t just because she was seeing the one that had gotten away after being apart for so long.

The bike ride didn’t help anything though because somehow, she wound up back at Sam and Pete’s, sitting across from him while he poured her a large cup of coffee and smiled at her.

“Don’t look at me like that,” told him said before taking a sip of her drink.

“I’m not looking at you,” Jane replied as he put the coffee pot down.

“Sam & Pete’s still have the best coffee around,” Lisbon said, trying to come up with a reason she had showed up at the diner again. “They might even be better than Starbucks. My aunt on the other hand, can’t make coffee _at all_. It’s like drinking mud.”

“That might be because they still buy coffee that barely costs five dollars at the local convenience store,” Jane answered as he got her a bear claw from the dessert display case. “The last time I checked, these were your favorite.  How do you feel about them now?”

“They’re still my favorite,” Lisbon replied as he slid it over to her on a plate.

“Good, because I got up early to make them especially for you.”

“Are you trying to make me fat so I can’t fit into my bridesmaid dress?” She asked as she bit into it.

“Like you’ll _ever_ get fat,” Jane scoffed. “You’re practically the same size you were in high school.”

“Actually, I’m the same size that I was in high school,” Lisbon said proudly.

Jane observed her critically, like he was searching the rooms in his memory palace, thinking back to their high school days. And then he nodded. “You are just as thin as you were then. Who’s taking care of you Reese?”

“I take care of myself, thank you very much!” Lisbon answered defensively.

“Okay, okay!” He replied, spreading his hands in truce. “I didn’t mean it that way! You look good, unlike some other girls from our high school.”

“Oh? Like who?”

“Like Kristina Frye,” Jane replied, smirking at her.

“You’re lying.”

“Am not,” he retorted. “She looked completely different compared to high school. And she thinks that she’s psychic now.”

“Isn’t that like the pot calling the kettle black?” Lisbon asked. “ _You_ used to pretend to be psychic when we were younger. And if _People_ magazine and _GQ_ are anything to go by, you made quite a living with it as an adult.”

Jane got a far off look in his eyes. “That was a long time ago. Now I don’t want anything to do with the whole lifestyle, it can only get you into trouble.”

“So, Kristian Frye _won’t_ everbe a contender to be the new Mrs. Jane?” Lisbon teased. “Poor dear, you always seem to be disappointing her.”

“Kristina and I never really got along in high school,” Jane reminded her. “It would probably be worse now that we’re both adults. So no, she isn’t in the running to become the new Mrs. Jane, she’s not even in the running to be a romantic interest.”

“No, I guess not. I suppose you go for little, bronze-skinned, brunettes now,” Lisbon said as she toyed with an almond that had fallen off of her bear claw.

Jane frowned. “Where’d you get _that_?”

“ _People_ said that—”

“Did you read and believe everything that _People_ magazine ever wrote about me?” Jane interrupted.

“Well. . .”

“You were the girl who laughed at all the other girls for believing everything that they read in the tabloids. Why would you believe what they wrote about me?”

“I don’t know, _People_ magazine said that you were back in the saddle again,” Lisbon replied honestly. “So, I thought. . . and you weren’t there to prove any of it wrong, and you are a very handsome man. And she was, well. . . _you_ do the math. How could I not draw conclusions?”

“How could you pick up _any_ tabloid?”

“I only did it if you were on the cover,” Lisbon said, pushing her plate away. “Who was she? Was she somebody special, P.J?”

“She was just a girl that I met on one of my binges in Las Vegas,” Jane told her as he took her plate and mug away, knowing from past experiences that she wouldn’t be touching it again. “She turned out to be something completely different than I thought she was.”

“What do you mean? She was _different_?”

“It turns out that she was working for the man who killed my wife and daughter. She was actually his lover. . .”

“Did you love her?”

“I didn’t even like her,” Jane answered. “I think I always knew in the back of my mind she was with him. I think that’s why I wanted to be with her, because maybe I was hoping that she would lead me to him. All I wanted to do was make him suffer the way my family had suffered. I wanted to see him die right in front of me.”

“Then what happened?”

“Red John killed her even before I even got to find out who he really was. It was for the best though, if I _had_ found out who he was and killed him, I’d probably be in jail right now and instead of here with you.”

Lisbon flushed the slightest shade of pink. “You always know the right thing to say, don’t you?”

“I only save the best for you,” Jane said, winking at her.

Lisbon glanced at her wristwatch and sighed reluctantly. “I have to get going now, I was only supposed to be gone for a little while. We’re having Violet’s [bachelorette](https://www.google.com/search?q=bachelorette&sa=X&biw=1366&bih=667&source=univ&tbm=nws&tbo=u&ei=ePoPUpOwCqXKyQGtpIDgDQ&ved=0CCoQqAI) party tonight, and I’m supposed to help my aunt get ready for it. It’s kind of a sleepover.”

“Oh, I know that Violet’s having her bachelorette party tonight,” Jane replied. “You guys are supposed to come here for dinner and drinks. Sam and Pete got a special liquor license especially for the occasion.”

“This is why we need a proper bar here,” Lisbon said as she got to her feet and pulled some money out of her pocket. “You can hardly have a good party at a diner.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jane answered. “I think we do pretty well for ourselves in spite of having a bar or not. Who needs one?”

“Who indeed,” Lisbon almost retorted, smiling at him. “See you tonight.”

“I’m counting the hours,” Jane flirted back, watching as she left the diner with a little extra swing in her hips.

“So,” Brett Stiles said, looking up from his eggs and crossword puzzle after the door had closed behind her. “Are you just going to let her get away _again_ , Patrick?”

“I’m not sure Brett,” Jane replied. “I’m really not sure.”

“You’d be a fool to let her go a second time, if you asked me,” Brett answered as he got to his feet and started for the door himself. “And you, my boy, are _no_ fool. Now, I’ll see you at lunch. Right now, I have to get back to my church. I have confession in an hour, and it’s with Paul Frick. You know how good his confessions always are.”

“I can only ever take your word for it,” Jane replied with a grin. “Because you never tell me what it is that he confesses exactly.”

“I think I’ll have macaroni and cheese this afternoon,” Brett said, diverting the subject away from their current thread of conversation. “Does that sound good to you Patrick?”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll have it ready for you by the time you come back.”

“And think about what I said,” Brett told him. “You’ve been given an incredible gift, a second chance with the girl that you were head-over-heels in love with at one point in your life. Use it wisely, you probably won’t get a third.”

 


	7. Chapter 6

“Okay, Reese, truth or dare?” Violet asked, downing her shot of tequila.

“Dare,” Lisbon answered adventurously, taking a sip of her diet Coke.

Violet paused for a second, pretending to wrack her brain for a really good dare, and then she grinned. “Okay, I dare you to kiss Patrick Jane.”

“Kiss Patrick Jane,” Lisbon repeated, frowning slightly as she stirred her straw around in her soda. “You anticipated that I’d ask for a dare, didn’t you?”

“Oh yes,” Violet replied, her smile growing even wider. “Now, are you going to take the dare or are you going to pay the forfeit?”

 “I’d take the dare,” Annie piped up. “I know exactly what my new mother and her friends have planned for forfeits. I can honestly tell you that you would rather kiss Mr. Jane.”

Lisbon glanced over to where Jane was standing and chatting with their old high school English teacher and her husband. “You just want me to go over there and kiss him in front of everyone?”

“Why not?” Violet said. “Everybody here knew the two of you were a couple once upon a time ago. They _must_ have seen you kissing at least once in the course of your relationship.”

“Actually—”

“You’re wasting time!” Violet’s friend, Lucy said. “You have ten seconds to accept the dare or pay the forfeit.”

Lisbon jumped up from the table and threw her napkin down. “Fine, I’ll take the dare. But I will have you know, a dare like this is—”

“Five!” Lucy sang out, grinning at her smugly.

 _Just go up and kiss him, it isn’t like you’ve_ never _kissed him before. . . it’ll just be like old times. . ._ Lisbon told herself as she walked towards him. _Except a little weirder, because you actually aren’t with him anymore—_

Her train of thought was broken by running into him right as he was turning away from the table he was serving.

 _Don’t say anything, don’t think about it,_ Lisbon thought, _just_ do _it._

And that is just what she did. Kissing him again was familiar and awkward all at the same time, and not at all what she expected it to be like. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she regretted taking the dare. She wasn’t a teenager anymore, and even as a teenager she never took stupid dares. She was always above it.

So, she pulled away and cleared her throat. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay,” Jane replied as he looked over her shoulder. “I know exactly what came over you. Having fun with Violet and her friends?”

“Sure,” Lisbon answered, still avoiding his eyes. “If you can call playing Truth or Dare at a bachelorette party _fun_.”

“You were never one for girly party games were you?” Jane said. 

“You know I never had time for that kind of stuff. Anyways, I’m sorry for bothering you like that while you were working, it won’t happen again.”

Jane grinned, his green eyes twinkling boyishly. “You can _bother_ me anytime you want to, I don’t mind, _really_.”

“Are you coming, Reese!?” Violet hollered before Lisbon could reply to Jane. “Lucy wants to take her turn!”

“I have to go,” Lisbon said.

Jane grabbed her by the wrist and stopped her. “Hold on a second Reese.”

“What is it, P.J?” Lisbon asked, looking at him with false impatience.

“If you aren’t busy later, how about you stay around and help me close down the diner for the night?”

Lisbon shook her head. “Oh no, I know _exactly_ what closing down the diner with you leads to.”

“I just want to spend more time with you,” Jane protested. “What’s so wrong with that?”

“REESE!!!!” Violet shouted.

Lisbon looked back at her future sister-in-law. “Give me a second Vi, I’ll be right there!”

“Well?” Jane asked expectantly. “Will you stay or not?”

Lisbon looked at the group of girls again and then she nodded. “Fine, I’ll stay behind and help you close up the diner. Happy now?”

Jane smiled and released her wrist. “Very. See you soon.”

Lisbon nodded and smiled at him wryly before rejoining her party.

“You call that a kiss?” Lucy asked when she had sat down again. “If somebody had dared _me_ to kiss Patrick Jane, I would have put everything in to it. That man was born to be kissed and kissed well.”

“Oh stop it Luce,” Violet chided. “Maybe she just didn’t feel like making out with him in public, did you ever think about _that_?”

“That’s rich coming from the girl who was egging her future sister-in-law to kiss her ex-boyfriend in front of their old history teacher,” Lucy retorted tartly.

“Reese,” Violet said.

“Right,” Lisbon replied, turning to Lucy and smiling. “So, truth or dare?”

**.**

“Are you sure you don’t want come with us?” Violet asked later that night as the party started to wind down. “If Annie and I leave you now, you won’t have any way to get home—”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll take her home when we’re finished here,” Jane told her as he started to clear off their table.

“Okay,” Violet said, smiling at them. “You two enjoy yourselves, I’ll see you later Reese.”

“See you later,” Lisbon echoed, waving goodbye.

“Could you lock the front door and turn the open sign over?” Jane asked when Violet and Annie had left. “I don’t want any last minute customers coming in.”

“Okay,” she replied, going to the door and doing her task quickly while he turned the jukebox on, flooding the diner with an old _Roberta Flack_ song.

“Just like old times,” Jane said softly when she turned around and looked at him. 

Lisbon flipped the light switch off, leaving the street lamps as their only light. “Now it’s just like old times,” she answered. “Except we’re a little bit older than we were back then, a little less starry-eyed and a little less in love—”

“Shhh,” Jane answered, coming towards her and framing her face with his hands, studying her for a moment before whispering, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

All she could do was nod, tilting her head upward and closing her eyes in anticipation. This time, their kiss was everything it had been twenty years earlier. It was like they had never stopped kissing ever, like they had never gone their separate ways. She was a teenage girl again with stars in her eyes and being kissed after a date by the most coveted boy in high school.

She wasn’t sure how she was going to leave this time.

 

 


	8. Chapter 7

“Do you want to be my date to Tommy and Violet’s wedding tomorrow?” Lisbon asked as she sat down next to Jane on his couch a couple days later.

“Does being your date mean that you won’t pay attention to anybody else except for me all night?” Jane answered as he put his arms around her and pulled her closer.

“Well, I might have to spare _some_ attention for old friends and relatives,” Lisbon replied, smiling up at him. “But I would spend a majority of my time with you. How does that sound?”

“As long as you let me take you home at the end of the night, then I’m fine with whatever bridesmaid or family duties it is that you’ll have to attend to,” Jane told her.

“I think we could arrange something,” Lisbon flirted back, tucking her legs underneath her and leaning against him as she sighed contentedly.

“Reese. . .” Jane said trailing off, not exactly sure if it was the right time to broach the subject of what their future looked like. He knew she didn’t want to talk about it though, he could tell just by looking at her that she wasn’t interested in thinking about anything beyond the seven days they were sharing.

So, he let the question go and he leaned in for a kiss, trying to momentarily silence his doubts and questions. And he tried to convince himself that he could be okay with just seven days together, if that was all she really wanted.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lisbon said later on that night as she pulled her sweater on and leaned up to give him a kiss goodnight.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Jane replied, returning her kiss with a melancholy smile.

“Don’t be so serious,” Lisbon told him, tweaking his cheek gently. “If anything, we still have a couple more days together. Let’s try and make the best of them.”

Jane’s heart sank. “A couple of more days?” He asked

“I have to be home by Sunday night,” Lisbon answered. “The real world is waiting for me, you know. I have responsibilities, I can’t just stay here and shirk my duties.”

“I know. I know,” he said quietly, kissing her again. “You wouldn’t be the woman that I loved if you didn’t go back when you were supposed to. I just wish that we—”

“Shhh,” she whispered, putting a finger to his lips. “We’ll think about that later when we can communicate a little better. You know I can’t talk about anything clearly after kissing you all night. I’d give you anything that you asked for.”

Jane refrained from saying anything further as he opened the door for her and ushered her out with a fond goodnight. Then he watched her get into her mustang and drive away, an old familiar ache formed somewhere deep down in his gut and he wondered why he had gotten involved with her again in the first place.

A second chance with his first love couldn’t be worth it, not when he was uncertain about where things stood between them. Not when they could possibly end before they barely even had a chance to begin again. 

Jane turned and went back into the house, trying not to think about what Sunday would bring. Trying not to wish that he had been a braver man and tried to force her to talk about things she clearly didn’t want to talk about. He tried to be thankful that he hadn’t poured his heart out to her right there and then; he knew that he had been saved being rejected by her a second time.

Still, he wished there was something that he could say to make her stay in his life for the rest of their lives. He wished he could make her stay with him forever.

He wished that wishing wasn’t so completely pointless and that by Sunday night all of his wishes would come true.

**.**

Lisbon spent most of the night sitting in her uncle’s recliner, her second sleepless night in a week. She wanted to be far, far away from Fulton. She had left for reasons, and one of those reasons was threating to explode all over again.

As good as strings had looked at the beginning of the week, they were starting to scare her again, to suffocate her and trap her in one place for the rest of her life without a life outside of a husband and a family.

Strings were fine for people like Patrick Jane and her brother, for her aunt and uncle, and one day Annie. But she didn’t need them, didn’t have the patience or time to untangle them when they got knotted up.

On the other hand, strings and knots could be worth it. Making it work could be worth it, she was tired of being lonely. She was tired of going back to her condo at the end of the day with just her TIVO and Ben & Jerry’s for company.

And somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that she regretted giving him up. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she would regret doing it again.

Lisbon pulled her legs up to her chest, buried her head in her knees, and sighed heavily.

For the first time in her whole entire life, she really didn’t know what to do. For the first time in her whole entire life, she didn’t have any of the answers.

**.**

The next morning Lisbon opened her eyes and found Lucy, Annie, Ruth and Violet looking down at her.

“You look terrible,” Lucy said. “Didn’t you get _any_ sleep last night?”

 _“Lucy!”_ Violet chided.

“I’m not standing next to her in the pictures,” Lucy said, walking away.

Violet looked at Lisbon and shook her head. “Don’t listen to her. A little bit of coffee and a lot of makeup, and you’ll look fine by the time we have to walk down the aisle.”

“You were with Patrick last night,” Ruth said, helping Lisbon out of the chair and leading her to the kitchen. “Did you two have a fight or something?”

“No,” Lisbon replied, shaking her head and swallowing. “An argument would have been better than the things that we _didn’t_ say to each other. We’re doing what we’ve always been good at, dancing around issues that need to be addressed because we’re of what the other will do or say. I know he wants to ask me to stay or if he can come with me, if we can become a more permanent us. But he won’t, he won’t pluck up the courage to ask because I keep giving him vibes that I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then _you_ need to talk about it,” Ruth told her, turning her around so she could look directly in her niece’s eyes. “You are a strong, independent woman Reese. You’ve always gone after what you wanted and you’ve always gotten it. What’s stopping you from going after what you want this time around? If you want Patrick then tell him that you want him. And don’t give him any other option except to want what you want.”

“I’m sure that he’d follow you anywhere this time,” Violet said, handing Lisbon a cup of coffee.

Ruth nodded in agreement. “But you’ll never know if you two don’t talk about it.”

Lisbon paused for a moment as she weighed her options and then she nodded too. “You’re right. But today’s all about you Vi. I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow—”

“Why talk about it tomorrow when we can talk about it now?”

She whirled around and found Jane standing in the hallway, looking at her. “What are you doing here?” she asked breathlessly, her pulse starting to race.

“I was coming to do the first brave thing that I’ve ever done where you were concerned,” Jane replied, clearing his throat slightly. “But it looks like you’ve got me beat.”

“I haven’t said anything yet,” Lisbon said quietly.

Jane looked at the group of women gathered behind her and then he smiled. “Do you mind if I steal her away for a little bit? I promise that I’ll have her back in time for the wedding this afternoon.”

Violet nodded. “Go ahead, take all the time you need.”

“I’m not in any state to go anywhere right now though—” Lisbon protested.

Ruth pushed her towards Jane. “Walk him down to the fishing creek then, just like you did when you were younger and you wanted to steal a few kisses before dinner.”

“Please Reese,” Jane said, giving her his best puppy dog eyes. “I promise that I won’t keep you for too long. But we really do need to talk before tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Lisbon agreed after a few seconds. “I’ll come with you.”

**.**

“Remember the first day we met?” Jane asked after walking in silence for a little bit.

“Yes,” Lisbon answered. “Almost like it was yesterday, I spent the first few months hoping that you’d look past the giggling blondes following you around and really see me. I had a crush on you the day they paired us up in drama.”

Jane nodded. “Me too, from the second I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I just didn’t know how to fight for you when the time came.”

 Lisbon shook her head. “It doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t have let you fight for me. The thought of being tied down to one place, to one person for the rest of my life scared me to death. It would have never worked out between us; the life I had planned didn’t have any room for you. I needed twenty years to realize that I could have fit you into my plans all along, that I wanted you in my life.

“I never really stopped loving you. I just didn’t know it, not until this week when we were standing face-to-face for the first time in years. And if you’ll have me, I’d really love to see where we’re going. I’d really like to take this thing between us to forever.”

Jane smiled at her. “You took the words right out of my mouth,” he answered as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her like she had never been kissed before.

_Epilogue_

“Is this just like you dreamed it would be all those years ago?” She asked as they both looked at the yellow house with the white picket fence around it.

“No,” he answered, putting his arm around her and pulling her closer. “This, this is even better than I dreamed because this is reality. After all these years, I _finally_ get to see my dreams brought to life. Now all we need is the dog and the kids, and a car that has better mileage because even though we are living in Sacramento so you can still work, we _are_ going to spend the holidays at home.”

She laughed and pulled him in for a kiss.

“I’ll always love you Patrick Jane.”’

 

 

 


End file.
